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英文是我的母语，来帮你批改！

In order to reduce the number of smokers and consumers of unhealthy food, some people suggested that the governments should levy high taxes on cigarettes and harmful food products. This policy may have made some strides in accomplishing their goal; however, as far as I’m concerned, there are more disadvantages to the policy, three of which I will represent below. Take the smoking tax, for instance. First of all, a higher tax on smoking will probably lead to the smokers, especially heavy smokers, buying cheap and low-quality products, which will certainly cause harm to their health. My father's experience can prove it. He has been smoking for more than 30 years, fully deserving of being called a “e79fa5e98193e4b893e5b19e31333332613066heavy smoker.” My mother and I used to try to persuade him to give up smoking, but he took no ear of it. Then my mom cut down his expenses on cigarettes, which is actually a kind of direct consequence of the governments’ increasing tax; my father bought the inferior cigarettes instead as a result. As we all know, most of the cheap cigarettes are made of bad materials that are even more unhealthy to smokers. That makes us realize that, for smokers who are already addicted to smoking, a smoking tax would neither prevent them from smoking nor help them be healthier. Secondly, a high tax may result in less cigarette consumers. That means the total revenue of the tax may decrease since some of the smokers may make cigarettes themselves. These self-made cigarettes really do harm to the body. Furthermore, a high tax is unfair to poor smokers. If there is a large amount of smokers who are unable to afford the high tax, it will surely dissatisfy the society, and the stability of the society may be shaken. Due to all the reasons above, I definitely recommend the governments to think over this decision. It is not the sharp increase in price, but the arousal of health consciousness that can help the smokers quit smoking, or at least to smoke less.

to levy high tax of it ,这里的it没有明确指代，应改为smoking。中间的low quality product应改为cigarette .My mom and I. 后面Then my mom cut down his expenses on cigarettes, which is actually a kind of the direct consequence of the governments’ increasing tax, my father turned to buy the inferiors as a result.中的which是指cigarettes , is 改为are 但这句话还是有些逻辑上的问题。unhealthier改为unhealthy。后面的it would neither prevent....中的it应改为 the policy 或是7a686964616fe58685e5aeb931333332613066其他的，，，That means the total income of the tax may reduce in the fact since some of the smokers may make cigarettes by themselves这句不明白想说什么。。。。decision拼错了。。government不加s,加s就变成了证券了。加油！！！！！！！(商盟百科网chnore.com)

写的一篇托福作文，批改意见和分数估计，非常感谢！关于提高烟草税和不健康食品税的。